Category:

Some of My Most Recommended Books

8/16/2013

There are so many wonderful resources available out there with lots of great information. If you've ever walked into the "self-help" section of the bookstore or browsed online, it can be tough to know which books are truly useful compared to those that are mostly nonsense or fluff.

I'm sharing a list (in no particular order) of some of the books I often find myself suggestions to clients. Some are helpful workbooks with exercises that focus on a particular issue or concern (e.g., self-esteem, physical pain, memory), others explore personal issues and offer a framework for a new perspective (e.g, perfectionism, indecision, gratitude), and others are just interesting or fun to read. Enjoy!

Emotional Wellness/Self-Esteem
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
    by Brene Brown, PhD, LCSW

The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun
    by Gretchen Rubin

Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life
    by M.J. Ryan

The Self-Esteem Workbook
    by Glenn R. Schiraldi, PhD

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less
    by Barry Schwartz, PhD

Relationships
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
    by John M. Gottman, PhD and Nan Silver

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
    by Gary D Chapman, PhD

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
     by Sue Johnson, PhD

The Book of Questions
    by Gregory Stock PhD

The New Male Sexuality, Revised Edition
    by Bernie Zilbergeld, PhD

Health-Related Guides
The Pain Survival Guide: How to Reclaim Your Life
    by Dennis C. Turk, PhD and Frits Winter, PhD

The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook
    by Martha Davis, PhD, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, MSW, and Matthew McKay, PhD

Brainfit: 10 Minutes a Day for a Sharper Mind and Memory
    by Corinne Gediman and Francis Michael Crinella PhD

The Memory Prescription: Dr. Gary Small's 14-Day Plan to Keep Your Brain and Body Young
    by Gary Small, MD and Gigi Vorgan

0 Comments

Mental Health Resources and Ways to Find Support

5/24/2013

0 Comments

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
www.nami.org
Great resource in helping to support families and educate them on mental illness.
The nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. NAMI advocates for access to services, treatment, supports and research and is steadfast in its commitment to raising awareness and building a community of hope for all of those in need.
-Find state organizations and local affiliates
-Family-to-Family Education Program free 12-week course

Mental Health America (MHA) also offers a variety of programs and resources.
www.nmha.org

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
www.samsha.gov
Education& Resources; Find Treatment feature

www.whatadifference.samhsa.gov
This site is for people living with mental illness—and their friends. You'll find tools to help in the recovery process, and you can also learn about the different kinds of mental illnesses, read real-life stories about support and recovery, and interact with the video to see how friends can make all the difference.

Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous
www.aa.org
www.na.org

Al‑Anon Family Group Meetings
www.al-anon.alateen.org
Friends and family members of problem drinkers share their experiences and learn how to apply the principles of the Al‑Anon program to their individual situations.

Psychology Today
www.psychologytoday.com
– Find a Therapist Search by zip code, specialty, provider type

Popular Self-Help Books
The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss
by Nancy L. Mace

The Complete Family Guide to Schizophrenia: Helping Your Loved One Get the Most Out of Life
by Kim T. Mueser & Susan Gingerich

Surviving Schizophrenia: A Manual for Families, Patients and Providers
by E. Fuller Torrey

Schizophrenia for Dummies
by Jerome Levine & Irene S. Levine

The Bipolar Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know
by David J. Miklowitz

The Emotional Survival Guide for Caregivers
by Barry Jacobs

0 Comments

Understanding and Supporting a Loved One with Mental Illness

5/10/2013

0 Comments

I had the privilege to serve as a speaker during a national women's leadership conference. We had a lively discussion about how to offer support to loved ones with mental illness, as well as challenges of stigma, misconceptions, and importance of seeking help when needed. This post shares some key points from this discussion. The next post will follow up with additional resources available nationwide.

WHAT IS MENTAL ILLNESS?
Disorder characterized by psychological symptoms, abnormal behaviors, impairment in
functioning, or any combination of these, that causes significant distress and impairment
    --Some examples include Schizophrenia, Bipolar, Depression,  Anxiety, Substance
        Abuse/Dependence, Dementia

WHO IS AFFECTED BY MENTAL ILLNESS?
Almost everyone’s life is touched by mental or emotional problems.
     --One in 4 adults and 1 in 10 children experience a mental health disorder in a given year.
     --Major depressive disorder affects 6.7% of adults & is the leading cause of disability in US.
     --Anxiety disorders affect 18.7% of adults & frequently co-occur with depression or addiction
       disorders.
     --Less than 1/3rd of adults and ½ of children with mental disorder receive mental health
       services each year.

FIGHTING STIGMA:
Create environment of strengths and promote understanding with “people-first” language.
         --Don’t label people as crazy, wacko, loony.
         --Don’t say someone is a schizophrenic but s/he has schizophrenia.
         --Instead of an autistic child, say a child with autism.

A person is so much more than their illness or label. Help make that distinction.

CHALLENGING COMMON MYTHS WITH THE FACTS:
Unfortunate myths and misperceptions abound when it comes to mental illness and emotional concerns.

Myth: Mental illness is due to personal failure, weakness, or a character flaw.
Fact: Mental illnesses result from the interaction of biological, psychological, and social factors. Events like loss of a loved one or a job can also contribute to the development of various mental health problems. People aren’t weak; in fact, it takes courage to confront problems and seek help.

Myth: Children don't experience mental illnesses. Acting out is just a product of bad parenting and seeking attention.
Fact: Just like adults, kids experience clinically diagnosable mental health conditions from the interaction of biological, psychological, and social factors. Behavior problems can be symptoms of mental problems, rather than merely attention-seeking devices. Kids can succeed in school with appropriate understanding, support, and mental health services.

Myth: Addiction is a lifestyle choice and shows lack of willpower.
Fact: Addiction is a disease generally resulting from changes in brain chemistry. Nothing to do with being a “bad” person.

Myth: People with mental illnesses are violent and unpredictable.
Fact: Actually, the vast majority of people with mental health conditions are no more violent
than anyone else. People with mental illnesses are much more likely to be the
victims of crime.

Myth: Once people develop mental illnesses, they will never recover. Therapy and self-help are a waste of time.
Fact: Studies show that most people with mental illnesses get better, and many recover completely. Treatment varies depending on the individual, but working with trained professionals during the recovery process can be effective. Therapy is often combined with some of the most advanced medications available.

HOW TO SUPPORT LOVED ONES
1. Educate yourself about the illness. Seek out resources.
2. Offer practical help and emotional support.
3. Have realistic expectations.
4. Be available to work closely with a treatment team, but let your loved one have control.
5. Set appropriate limits or boundaries.
6. Recognize your loved one’s courage, convey hope, and don’t judge.
7. Be an advocate. Get political.
8. Take care of yourself.

HOW TO COPE
1. Accept your feelings.
2. Establish a support network.
3. Seek counseling.
4. Take time out.

References:
        www.mindframe-media.info
        http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/15-ways-to-support-a-loved-one-with-serious-mental-illness/all/1/
        www.samsha.gov

0 Comments

A Peek Inside Couples Counseling

4/12/2013

0 Comments

Partners often share that long-term stress and conflict dampens their connection and can
make it tough to remember what brought them together. Counseling is a place where couples can safely explore feelings, process reactions, and have a mediated forum to identify patterns and learn productive, healthy ways of relating. We often find that little tweaks and adjustments to a couple’s habits have a profound effect on improving their relationship satisfaction.

Some people think the idea of couples counseling sounds about as enjoyable as getting a root canal at the dentist. However, many find that the process of working with their partners and a trained therapist can be meaningful, rewarding, and even…fun! Yes! There’s been so much great research about couples’ interactions and helpful tools that couples counseling is more exciting than ever!

For example, Dr. John Gottman is a psychologist whose research helps couples create healthy, happy relationships that last. After years of research on marital behavior and communication dynamics, Dr. Gottman says that he can reliably predict if a couple will divorce with 91% accuracy by watching and listening to them for just five minutes. Wow.

Dr. Gottman has a great book called, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999). He says, “What can make a marriage work is surprisingly simple. Happily married couples aren’t smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about the other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their positive ones.”

He lays out some ways of relating that can be so negative that if allowed to continue over time may be "lethal" to a relationship. These types of negative communications become important in counseling sessions to help couples recognize and squash:

1) Complaint vs. Criticism
      Complaint: points out specific actions of partner's failure to do something
      "I'm angry you didn't sweep the kitchen floor last night. We agreed to take turns."

      Criticism: more global negative comment about your partner's character or personality
      "Why are you so forgetful? I hate sweeping when it's your turn. You just don't care."
          (Turn any complaint into criticism by adding "What's wrong with you!?")

      Problem: Can be very common, but paves the way for harsher, more destructive
      communication.

2) Contempt
      Sarcasm, cynicism, name calling, eye-rolling, mockery

       Problem: Dangerous because it often conveys disgust and may lead to more
       conflict rather than resolution.

3) Defensiveness
      Although this reaction is often understandable when one or both partners are hurt by some
      of the harmful ways of interacting above, being defensive rarely has the desired effect; for
      example, your partner does not back down or apologize.

       This can in fact escalate conflict and is really a way of blaming your partner.
            "The problem isn't me, it's you!"

      Problem: Discussions that begin harshly, where criticism and contempt lead to
      defensiveness, which then leads to more contempt and more defensiveness, eventually one
      partner may tune out completely.

4) Stonewalling
      Coming home from work and beginning conflict at home, one partner may turn away and
      become unresponsive, leave the room. The less responsive one is, the more the other may
      yell. By turning away, this interaction is as though one is sitting like a passive stone wall. The
      partner acts like he or she couldn't care less about what you're saying, even if he or she
      hears it.

0 Comments

How 'looking on the bright side' actually helps...

3/8/2013

0 Comments

What if I told you most people have a tendency to focus on what’s going wrong; to think more about negative details and analyze problems? Well, research has shown just that, especially when people already feeling down or depressed. In turn, this negative focus often makes depression worse. However, people who spend more time focusing on positives, often feel better. So those who look on the bright side and see the glass half full or are on to something.

The “mental filter” is a term from cognitive psychology to describe people’s tendency to focus on the negatives while filtering out or ignoring all the positives. People often pay attention to the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

Consider this example: Tony walks through the crowded grocery store. People are courteous, and a few smile at him as they pass in the aisles. An employee even offers to carry out his bags. Then, as Tony walks across the parking lot, a driver honks impatiently at him. He thinks, “People are always so rude” and focuses on his anger during his entire drive home. By the time he pulls into the driveway, he’s tired and cranky, and snaps at his roommate. This type of filter for negative thinking contributes to bad feelings and can maintain depression.

Instead, by removing the filter and consciously acknowledging what goes right, people often feel less depressed, and have a greater sense of overall well-being. Imagine if Tony had focused more on the friendly smiles, courteous people, and helpful employees. He may have felt calmer,
kinder, and have been less likely to snap at his roommate.

Here’s another example: on days when Amy feels feeling particularly tired or stressed, her mental filter goes into action during a jog. Thoughts like, “I hate running. This stinks! I’m so tired, bored, cold, irritated, [insert assortment of other negative feelings here].” This negativity inevitably leads to concentrating on her physical discomfort, a growing negativity about the experience, and focusing on how awfully long the trail is. By allowing the mind to dwell on these
feelings, it’s less likely that she would be willing to hit the trail the next time. Instead, Amy uses the opportunity to actively focus on the positive, turn on her “positive filter”and practice gratitude. As her feet pound against the earth, she reviews what she’s grateful for during the run. “I’m so fortunate to have a healthy body and the ability to run. I appreciate my beating heart, full lungs, the muscles and bones that carry me along. It’s a privilege to have this free time to spend outside.” With this conscious practice, her gratitude grows, and she more consistently finds herself appreciating the experience and ends the run feeling refreshed.

I encourage you to consider these examples the next time you find yourself stressed out in a similar situation and challenge yourself to refocus on the positives. If you want to go a step further, consider trying the “Three Blessing Exercise” to boost your positive outlook. Every night for the next week, before you go to bed, write down three things that went well during the day. Your items don’t need to be grand or significant (though they can be); they may be as simple as a beautiful song you heard on the radio or a smile from a coworker. This practice draws your attention toward the positive, helping to balance out some of the negative filtering that may have happened during your day. Even severely depressed people can find three things that went well every day, and when they do, their depressed mood may start to lift. In fact, a study by Martin Seligman found 92% of people who counted their blessings for one week felt happier and 94% of people who said they were depressed actually reported feeling less depressed. Maybe this week, you can focus on the positives, see your glass half full, look on the bright side, and embrace gratitude! Challenge your negative filter. Go for it!

0 Comments

On the Mind...

Welcome to my blog offering information and thoughts on a variety of psychology topics and common concerns.

Author

Megan M. Paris, PhD

I'm a licensed psychologist in Houston helping adults
work through life's challenges. I provide an objective and nonjudgmental space to explore your situation and improve your overall
well-being.

Click here to learn more about my practice.

Some of My Most Recommended Books

Mental Health Resources and Ways to Find Support

Understanding and Supporting a Loved One with Mental Illness

A Peek Inside Couples Counseling

How 'looking on the bright side' actually helps...

On the Mind...

Author

Archives

Categories