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Quotable Thought for March

3/29/2013

I like to share quotes that I find meaningful, humorous, or thought-provoking. Here’s one for March:

And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.
--Erica Jong

This quote strikes me as so true. It seems timely based on how often this month I’ve found myself discussing change. We all experience fear sometimes; fear of change, fear of failure, and fear of loss often keep us from acting or trying things that can lead to happiness, improved well-being, or a sense of success. Sometimes the only thing holding us back is our own fear of taking a risk. Risks can be scary, but what might you be missing by playing it safe or holding back?

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Body Responses: Stress vs. Relaxation

3/15/2013

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Stress is an unavoidable part of everyday life, resulting from any change or situation you must cope with, both positive and negative. In fact, the body may react to the physical threat of danger in the same way it responds to the exhilaration of upcoming wedding or dream vacation. Sound strange? Well, not all stress is bad, but problems can arise when the amount of stress you experience over time exceeds your resources to cope. What’s important is to learning to recognize the signs of stress to respond in a healthy way so it doesn’t interfere with your life.

Your body notices stress long before your mind does. Think about the last time you felt stressed out. Did you notice any of these common feelings?

Fatigue
Muscle Tension
Racing Heart
Shakiness

Sweating
Nail biting
Dry Mouth
Sleep problems

Heartburn
Jitters
Irritability
Overeating or Loss of appetite

Physiological changes during stress are truly remarkable. In fact, scientists call these reactions the “fight or flight response;” a series of biochemical changes in the body that prepare an individual to deal with threats or danger. Any problem we face, imagined or real, can cause the mind to signal an alarm that stimulates the sympathetic nervous system to make changes in the body. Imagine a zebra standing in the sun, who suddenly notices a lion approaching. The zebra needs to react immediately to survive. His body must be in optimal shape for the burst of energy required to flee to safety. It is adaptive for the stress response to kick into gear so the zebra can survive.

Just like the zebra, our bodies react in the same way to threats and stressors: muscles tense, pupils become larger, hearing becomes more acute, blood surges to the brain and trunk and away from extremities. The body quickly gears up to peak efficiency to cope with the current threat and then, when the perceived crisis is over, the body returns to its normal state of functioning. Unfortunately, many of us live with so many repeated stressors that the body doesn’t always automatically calm down on its own. This is when chronic stress and burn out become a problem; the body wasn’t designed to linger too long in“fight or flight” mode.

Fortunately, the same signal that turns on fight or flight can also turn it off. Instead of maintaining the stress response, the relaxation response is naturally restorative. Metabolism, heart rate, breathing rate, muscle tension, and blood pressure all return to their normal levels. Consider the fact that it is physically impossible to breath quickly and slowly at the same time. Stress and relaxation are simply not compatible. One response cannot exist simultaneously with the other. Training the mind and body to enter a state of relaxation, to invite the relaxation response, leads to a reduction in physiological symptoms and is the key to managing and reducing negative outcomes of stress.

Learning relaxation techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, autogenics, meditation, imagery, and so on, provides the body with the steps to achieve the relaxation response. As with most skills, the more practice and experience you have, the easier it will become for you to tap into physiological and emotional. Stay tuned for upcoming posts with more information and examples of each of these techniques!

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How 'looking on the bright side' actually helps...

3/8/2013

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What if I told you most people have a tendency to focus on what’s going wrong; to think more about negative details and analyze problems? Well, research has shown just that, especially when people already feeling down or depressed. In turn, this negative focus often makes depression worse. However, people who spend more time focusing on positives, often feel better. So those who look on the bright side and see the glass half full or are on to something.

The “mental filter” is a term from cognitive psychology to describe people’s tendency to focus on the negatives while filtering out or ignoring all the positives. People often pay attention to the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.

Consider this example: Tony walks through the crowded grocery store. People are courteous, and a few smile at him as they pass in the aisles. An employee even offers to carry out his bags. Then, as Tony walks across the parking lot, a driver honks impatiently at him. He thinks, “People are always so rude” and focuses on his anger during his entire drive home. By the time he pulls into the driveway, he’s tired and cranky, and snaps at his roommate. This type of filter for negative thinking contributes to bad feelings and can maintain depression.

Instead, by removing the filter and consciously acknowledging what goes right, people often feel less depressed, and have a greater sense of overall well-being. Imagine if Tony had focused more on the friendly smiles, courteous people, and helpful employees. He may have felt calmer,
kinder, and have been less likely to snap at his roommate.

Here’s another example: on days when Amy feels feeling particularly tired or stressed, her mental filter goes into action during a jog. Thoughts like, “I hate running. This stinks! I’m so tired, bored, cold, irritated, [insert assortment of other negative feelings here].” This negativity inevitably leads to concentrating on her physical discomfort, a growing negativity about the experience, and focusing on how awfully long the trail is. By allowing the mind to dwell on these
feelings, it’s less likely that she would be willing to hit the trail the next time. Instead, Amy uses the opportunity to actively focus on the positive, turn on her “positive filter”and practice gratitude. As her feet pound against the earth, she reviews what she’s grateful for during the run. “I’m so fortunate to have a healthy body and the ability to run. I appreciate my beating heart, full lungs, the muscles and bones that carry me along. It’s a privilege to have this free time to spend outside.” With this conscious practice, her gratitude grows, and she more consistently finds herself appreciating the experience and ends the run feeling refreshed.

I encourage you to consider these examples the next time you find yourself stressed out in a similar situation and challenge yourself to refocus on the positives. If you want to go a step further, consider trying the “Three Blessing Exercise” to boost your positive outlook. Every night for the next week, before you go to bed, write down three things that went well during the day. Your items don’t need to be grand or significant (though they can be); they may be as simple as a beautiful song you heard on the radio or a smile from a coworker. This practice draws your attention toward the positive, helping to balance out some of the negative filtering that may have happened during your day. Even severely depressed people can find three things that went well every day, and when they do, their depressed mood may start to lift. In fact, a study by Martin Seligman found 92% of people who counted their blessings for one week felt happier and 94% of people who said they were depressed actually reported feeling less depressed. Maybe this week, you can focus on the positives, see your glass half full, look on the bright side, and embrace gratitude! Challenge your negative filter. Go for it!

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On the Mind...

Welcome to my blog offering information and thoughts on a variety of psychology topics and common concerns.

Author

Megan M. Paris, PhD

I'm a licensed psychologist in Houston helping adults
work through life's challenges. I provide an objective and nonjudgmental space to explore your situation and improve your overall
well-being.

Click here to learn more about my practice.

Quotable Thought for March

Body Responses: Stress vs. Relaxation

How 'looking on the bright side' actually helps...

On the Mind...

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